Staying In

In Heaven,
they love nothing more
than settling on the sofa
on Saturday night
and watching
a western
starring Leo the Great
convincing Attila the Hun
to stop at the gates of Rome.

The pope is attired
in unblemished white
and the mongol lord
sits astride his stead
as black as sin
and a saddle studded
with rhinestones
as bright as the knucklebones
of the saints.

Some nights, to vary the outcome,
they cheer for the asian king
but keep the lights dimmed
in case St Peter, trawling the streets
like a lost delivery man, fancies
a showdown of his own.

In the morning, wine-bottles
and half-eaten tortillas litter
the clouds and the late-nighters
pretend not to know each-other
or the real ending.